Shakespeare: A Love/Hate Relationship

William Shakespeare. A name that strikes both profound love and immense hatred in people of all ages. Most people either love him or hate him, never both.

I suppose I am one of the people who both love Shakespeare and hate Shakespeare. The main reason I love Shakespeare is for the fact that he truly had a way with words. He could turn something ordinary into something beautiful with just words. He could make death tragic and poetic. He is continuously hated by students everywhere, and I love being one of the few who actually appreciate his works. The reason I hate Shakespeare, though, is that one can always tell when something was written by him. He doesn't have a voice that changes with each work. I always admire authors who can change their voices in writing. It means that they aren't limited to a set style and can express themselves in multiple ways. Either way, I find Shakespeare intriguing and fun to read.

Now, you may be wondering why all the talk of Shakespeare. Tonight, I attended the first meeting of GCSU's Shakespearean Circle. It's a club dedicated to reading plays by Shakespeare and to be quite honest it's a club filled with a diverse group of people. Not everyone is an English major and not everyone is the same. We're just a bunch of people who like Shakespeare. To be honest, I had my doubts at first. I wasn't sure about joining a club, but, after attending the meeting, I can say wholeheartedly that I will attend all of the future meetings. 

To be surrounded by people who share a common interest and who are equally as enthusiastic about something is quite liberating. I felt comfortable and that's something hard for me to feel when trying something new. I didn't feel out of place, I felt connected to something bigger (although the club itself is somewhat small, it is bigger than I). It is a feeling that I think I needed to feel (plus it gets me out of my room and doing something I enjoy). 

I suppose I want to say this to everyone who is on the fence about joining something, to everyone who is afraid of what will happen if they get involved: Do what you're afraid of. Take a chance and you might find that you actually enjoy something you never thought you would. Get involved in a club because you will have fun and make new friends. On the off chance that you don't like it, no one will force you to return. Try new things and find what you like.

I Will Survive

Surviving one's first week of college classes can be a challenge. Thankfully, I survived. I survived my English II class. I survived my difficult Psychology class. I survived my seemingly trivial Music class (but hey, at least it's music). I survived my Sociology class in which I had to talk and actively participate in class. I survived my French class, even if I know it will be a challenge later on. I survived. 

Thinking back to my years of high school, college is a vastly different experience. You cannot expect everything to be handed to you. You have to actively participate and be engaged in order to learn the material. You have to take time outside of class to study for your classes and complete assignments. All of these things and more, including doing your own laundry and finding meals for yourself, are all part of the college experience. Sure, it can be stressful, but it also gives you the option to make a name for yourself, put yourself out there, make friends, try new things, and step out of your comfort zone. 

I can honestly say that I have accomplished most of these things during my first week of college. I did my laundry today. Don't get me wrong, I already know how to do my own laundry, but college washing machines and dryers are different than the ones I'm used to. I even had to use my lofted bed as a makeshift drying rack for some of my clothes I deemed too delicate to put into the dryer in fear of shrinking them. In addition to laundry, I also have to make my own decisions regarding my meals. I have to decide what foods I want to eat at The MAX (the name for GCSU's cafeteria/food court) or if I want to stay in my dorm and eat the college staple of ramen noodles. 

As far as stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things, I walk everywhere now. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't like going outside, let alone walking everywhere. I'd say that's a big step out of my comfort zone (I apologize for the pun). I've even made plans to go to the gym, and if I find that it is something that I would want to do on a regular basis, I might continue to go. Who knows what will happen? 

I suppose I have also tried somewhat of a new thing in the way I study. I've changed my habits, and I hope they pay off in my grades later on. I used to skate my way through high school with minimal organization and minimal studying. Now, I plan to stay organized and study regularly so that the material is always fresh on my mind. I even bought a planner. I never use planners, yet now I use it all the time. Everything I need is always at hand and I will never miss an assignment. 

I'd say that college has changed me in some ways. It's definitely a change for the better. If I hadn't, I'd probably always be a hot mess with little to no organization. I've even found inspirations to write, something I couldn't ever really find while at home. 

Maybe I just needed a change of scenery to see that writing is something I can't function without. I even accidentally wrote a five page paper in my English II class yesterday when it only needed to be a minimum of 500 words (which I can easily fit on one page). If that's not a good indicator of how much I love to write, I don't know what is. The longer I stay here at GCSU, the more I realize that writing is really something I want to continue to do. Honestly, I can't see myself doing anything else. Writing is where I want to be. 

To get back on track to what this post started off with, college is hard. It's never going to be easy, but anyone can survive it if they put their mind to work and actually put effort into being successful. I can live my life knowing that I survived the first week. With this knowledge, I can confidently say that I will survive the rest of college. I may struggle, no, I will struggle. But with the struggle, I will find inspiration and pursue my passion. With struggle, I will prevail. Besides, who ever said being successful was a smooth path? We must work to make our dreams a reality, otherwise our dreams are simply just dreams. 

A Walk in Thought

Sometimes you just need to get out and walk around. Even if that means alone. Alone is peaceful. Alone gives you time to think, time to explore, and time to find beauty in the smaller things in life.

 I walked around downtown Milledgeville for the second time today simply to get out. I didn't care how hot it was or if I wasn't going to go into one of the many restaurants. All I wanted was to walk. I don't know why I keep wanting to get out and walk around so much, it's so far from everything I am. Anyone who knows me knows that. For some reason I seem to want to walk around. Maybe it's to escape the prison-like walls that are my dorm room. (They're all white with little decoration. I hope to change that soon). Maybe it's to do something different, something I never thought I would do. Maybe it is just because I want to feel the freedom of walking around alone with no one else to worry about but myself. Or maybe it is a subconscious thing in my brain telling me to get up and do something to try and stay somewhat fit. For whatever the reason, I keep going on walks. Surprisingly, I'm okay with that. I like the peaceful aspect of walking alone. Sure it's always nice to walk with a companion, but being alone allows you to think away from everything. It's just you and you alone there to make decisions and find inspiration in the small things that happen during a walk.

On my walk, I passed by several people playing Pokemon Go (yes, I was playing too). I passed by people young and old. I witnessed the hours of the afternoon turn into the orange glow of the evening. I heard the leaves of the trees rustling in the occasional breeze. I heard cars driving down the street in a bustling manner. All of these observations made me think about something. They made me think about the fact that we are all like pieces of a puzzle. Each piece needs the other in order to make one big picture. Everything I witnessed and observed, even me, are all pieces of the puzzle that is Milledgeville. Sure it's a small college town and I've only been here a few days, but some puzzles are three dimensional, sometimes even four, and each part of these multi-dimensional puzzles add another layer of depth to the picture.

The first dimension of the Milledgeville puzzle: The town itself. The roads. The buildings. The businesses. The comic book store that has seen better days.

The second dimension: The leaves rustling in the slight breeze. The cars moving steadily through the street. The sky changing from day to night.

The third dimension: The people. People who have lived here all their lives. People who are young. People who are old. People playing Pokemon Go.

The fourth dimension: Me. I'm new to this puzzle. I'm finding my place. You could even go so far as to say that I am the puzzle piece that you can never quite figure out where it goes or even the extra piece.

All of these pieces rolled into one make Milledgeville what it is. At least, that's what I have observed. It's amazing when you can just separate yourself from the world and just watch everything as it goes by and make note of the little things.

Now, you might be wondering why I described myself as the extra piece. I say that because I stand out. I walk alone when others walk in crowds. I look at the world differently than others. I have different interests. Something about me finds entertainment in the looks I get. I don't know what goes on in people's heads when they think of me, and quite frankly, I don't care. Let people think what they want. I am me and nothing will ever change that. I am me and I like me the way I am. I like my quirks and the things that make me unique.

With that, I leave you with the knowledge that I will probably go on many walks while I attend GCSU. Walks where I can just think and create ideas. Walks where I can find myself and my place in the bigger puzzle.

Venturing Into College Life

As I begin my journey into my freshman year of college, I find myself faced with choices. Do I gorge myself on junk food or try and eat food that won't make me gain the dreaded "Freshman 15?' Do I stay in my dorm guarded from the outside world or do I venture out to new places and see what's out there for me in Milledgeville? Do I head to the gym? (I know, that's a weird thought coming from me). Do I put myself out there and try to shed the shy girl or do I hide behind my insecurities? All of these choices to make and each decision impacts another part of my day. I heard that college is about finding yourself. That it's about putting yourself out there to find your place in the world. That it's one of the greatest times in your life. I think it's about deciding on who you want to be. The part of you that you want the world to see. The part of you that you want to show off. The real, honest you.

My first day at GCSU scared the hell out of me. I was panicking, and when I panic I start to get aggressive. Now with the second day almost over, I find myself not panicking at all. I find myself opening up. I find myself growing as a person. Being away from all that I know, has already made me open up more. I'm no longer the timid girl I was before I got here. When I started high school, it took me years to open up and find myself. Now that I've started college, I opened up on the second day. It didn't take years this time. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm still very wary of new things, but at least I'm opening up a bit more and not being afraid to stand out. 

Being unique is something I cherish. Although sometimes I can be afraid to stand out because of my massive insecurity issues, I still love to be a unique weirdo. I like to have different interests and to find friends who aren't necessarily the "cool kids." I like to show off to the world that the misunderstood, the timid, and the different are people too. To show that we are just as "cool" as the rest of the world. 

While I spend my college life here at GCSU, I hope to accomplish great things as well as put myself out there. I hope to become unafraid to be unique. I hope to find myself in the world that is life away from home. I hope to become me.